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10 Tips for Moving Through Grief

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When we experience a loss and it’s accompanying grief and mourning,  it is important to take care of our own needs, even if that means disappointing others at times.  All of the strong emotions that are involved can be confusing, distressing, and always changing.  Often we can feel several emotions at once, from anger, fear, sadness, relief, and even joy.  While the pain of loss is not something to be raced through, there are ways to make the process more effective and tolerable.  The following article, written by Jane Simington, PhD, offers 10 helpful tips to move through the grieving process a bit more comfortably.

1. Acknowledge the losses

  • Share with someone
  • Work it through on paper
  • Journal writing- make your journal writing reflective (What I did; what I learned; what I would do differently. Reflect on the growth process taking place for you).
  • Professional help can be valuable
  • Support groups work for some people

2. Expect and accept the signs of grief.

  • Denial – shock, numbness
  • Anger: internal (toward self); external (toward others, even towards God)
  • Depression – anxiety, deep and pervasive sadness

3. Accept your own feelings

  • The first step in managing feelings is to acknowledge them
  • Acknowledging feelings, can, in itself, often lessen their intensity
  • This does not mean we need to dwell on them
  • After examining feelings we are often better able to find ways to deal with them and then release them

4. Become aware that loss and trauma have effects on every aspect of humanness.

  • Difficulty sleeping, eating and digestive problems
  • Chest pain and palpitations
  • Headaches and backaches
  • One-track thinking and difficulty making decisions
  • Anxiety and fear and an inability to trust
  • Know that these are signs that you need to take care of yourself, physically, emotional, mentally and spiritually

5. Acknowledge self-responsibility for healing.

  • Frequent hot baths help some
  • Regular massage can ease tightened muscles
  • Physical exercise has been shown to decrease depression and increase self-esteem
  • Consider taking anti-stress-rich foods and vitamins (A,C,E,B Complex).

6. Stay alert for any old wounds this may open for you.

  • Any new loss or trauma can reopen unhealed wounds of past losses or past trauma. This can leave us grieving from multiple losses

7. Protect yourself from adding more losses.

  • We tend to want to escape from uncomfortable situations. This can cause us to make choices that can cause us further loss. We may desire to relocate or to change jobs. While this may work out well in the end, it does make us more vulnerable because then, instead of healing from one loss we end up facing the multiple losses that any change brings.
  • If possible wait a couple of years after a major loss before making major decisions

8. Decrease stimulants.

  • Monitor the use of alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, drugs
  • These substances provide an immediate high but a long term low, and they each have less than positive side effects

9. Find ways to bring more balance into your life.

  • Human beings needs balance (too much or too little can causes disharmony and disorganization)
  • Take care to modify stimulation in all areas of life (home, work, family, larger environment)
  • Increase quiet times
  • Increase meaningful times with special people

10. Honor your inner strength.

  • Deep breathing
  • Meditation, guided imagery, visualization
  • Centering prayer
  • Believe in yourself
  • Reflect on how far you have already come and celebrate the successes

Copyright Jane Simington, PhD Taking Flight International

emotions· grief· grieving· mourning· self-care· wellness

Sue Hasker, MS

Certified Grief Recovery® Specialist & New Life Story® Wellness Coach
Next Post: Are You at Risk for Depression? »

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When your life is upside-down following a loss or trauma, your body needs all the support you can give it. Take care of your emotional, physical, and spiritual health.

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Can you relate? Messterpieces are made out of MESSes, my friend @andreamnyberg shares her heart in a poem...Two scenes, Same Woman A poem by Andrea M. NybergTwo scenes, same womanOne sunshine, one darkness Both are real, but these are two very different realities One is on the mountain, one in the valley One is filled with joy, The other with painOne is getting things done,Accomplishing goals, Realizing dreamsThe other is stuck in bed,Dizzy, nauseous, in painFeeling useless Knowing the burden on her family Aware of the things on the calendar That won’t get done todayAnd maybe not for several daysIt’s hard to know when the fog will liftOne smiles in elation at all the beauty the day bringsOne weeps in sorrow for all the things that have been taken awayOne sees she’s a masterpiece The other feels like a broken messBut both are loved Both know hopeBoth know they are worthy of careThe darkness does not diminish the joy of the lightThe light does not eliminate the reality of the darkness They learn to coexist To hold space for each other To cheer each other on and give plenty of time for rest Two scenes, same womanBoth fully known and fully lovedBoth divinely crafted Both finding courage and strength Both learning and growing Both needed in this worldBoth useful Two scenes, same woman Both capable of perspective And able to show the world a different way of seeing illness and painTwo scenes, same womanBoth held and strengthened by her Savior To do the good work He has for herSometimes in the lightSometimes in the darkness But always in His arms.03.18.2023Andrea M. NybergTwo scenes, Same Woman This is why I wrote “I’m Such A Messterpiece: Shattering Stigmas, (Re)Framing Our Fears, and Finding Ourselves Fully Loved.” So people who also face two realities because of chronic mental, physical and/or emotional illness will know they are not alone. There is hope. There is grace. There is space for you. We can embrace the messterpiece together.Get the eBook here: amzn.to/3JrRbuE ... See MoreSee Less

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The information contained on this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended for the treatment, cure, diagnosis, or prevention of any medical condition. Please consult your physician for such advice and before altering the use of medications or any other part of your medical program.

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